There's an anti-genista force working against me......

I have been desperately trying to get a membership to demonoid.com

However, this website is by invite only, with rare occasions that they open up registration for a few days.

I have not so far found, or known of anybody who could help me with this.

Now, they just posted a memo on their homepage, saying that registration was just open for 72 hours. I CHECKED THE BLOODY SITE MULTPILE TIMES IN THAT TIME! And never once could I register.

Ugh. So, I guess I'm fucked again. So, I guess I'll throw out my plea again, if anybody has a demonoid account, or knows of someone with a demonoid account, could somebody PLEASE send me an invite? pretty please? Cuz seriously, I checked it so often, there's no way in hell I missed the registration time, and I just feel very thwarted.

boo.

Abusing the Power.

Haven't posted here in forever. Note to people: get facebook. It seems this place is a ghost town (for half of my friends, anyways), and they're almost all on facebook. So, unfortunately, I tend to do more notes there. *shrugs*

I got a dvd burner. What's even more impressive, is that I installed it myself, and it works, which is mega-sexy. At first, I wasn't all that eager, just happy to have a rom again, since the original cd-drive/burner went kaput. But, then.......I discovered the sexiness that is burning things! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad abuser, which sounds funny. Because I love my movie collection, and movies don't count in a collection unless they've been bought, with a proper cover and whatsits. But, for tv shows that have yet to be released on dvd (which I will hop on like a fat kid on a cupcake when they come out), it's good for burning, so I can watch tv in the comfort of my bed, instead of in front of the computer. Now, here's the abuse-y part: I'm working at losing weight (and it's actually going well, and I'm not getting derailed this time, SHOCK AND AWE). And I wanted to dvds to work out to. And there's the glory of finding these torrents, that have these workout dvds I wanted, that you could only buy on infomericials or there website. And it was on a torrent!

So, this is where my abusing of the power comes in. Cuz it takes long to burn stuff, which is lame. But then I discovered that if I set something to burn, right before I went to bed, I could wake up, and magically have a dvd waiting for me! ♥ So, now I'm all getting my hands on any weird thing I can. If there's a remote chance it'll be useful/fun, I grab the torrent (which is hurting my hardrive space, but then I burn it, and delete it, once again, so useful!) I even grabbed a "learn spanish in your car" because, hey, secondary languages are sexy.

Now that I've blabbed for like, 2 paragraphs about how much I love to burn things, in other news!: Almost at 3 months with Jason. He is just like, the most fabulous thing on earth, or something like that. I think we're kismet. Mainly because I don't think I've ever met somebody who has so much patience for my mood swings, neuroticism, and yo-yoing insecurities. I'll end up being a bitch one day, then I freak out that he'll stop liking me, because I was being a bitch, then I spazz out and tell him all this, and he adores me just as much. And I'm such a worrywart and stressout, and he's like my yang, he's the opposite, and is really good at making me relax and have fun.

School's done in a week and a half. FREAKOUT. I have a 14 page paper to write, I may just die. However, I did go absolutely manic for a couple of days, and I plotted out my major, my minor, and every single class I want to take and when I'm gonna take them. It's kinda nice to have a solid game plan for school.

Other than that, the world as we know it is as we know it. there's crushing boredom, moments of craziness, and overall not too shabby.

I can't wait for spring to get here. I have never wanted to go outside so badly in my life. I don't know if it'a a combination of me moving about more, and looking forward to biking and rollerblading, or the fact that I quit smoking, and love fresh air so much now it's not even funny. But yeah. Mud/slush, go away, street-sweepers, plz come and get rid of all the gravel and sand so that I can rollerblade without ruining my 'blades. ♥

tis all, fini

*insert incredibly horrible feeling here*

My bird is going to die tonight, and there's not a single damn thing I can do about it. All I can do, is watch, and cry a lot.

I know lots of people don't seem to have the same sympathy when they here it's a bird pet that's dying/died, because people seem to view birds as more feathery versions of goldfish. But that's not the case.

Jojo has lots of personality. She would sit on my finger, every once in a while, she came out of the cage, and would sit on my shoulder, and she just had a very distinct and fun personality. And it kills me to see her huddled under her food dish, with her eyes closed, waiting to die. *cries more*

All I wanna do is hold her, and be with her, but it seems insensitive to bother her. She will still sit on my finger, but she closes her eyes and starts hunching over. Everything just seems so laboured. So I gave her her favorite food, and tried to give her all the treats she loved so much, and am just letting her......go when she feels ready to let go.

I love her so much. This is so hard and so stupid. And my mom's not even home so I have to sit through this alone.

I just want this all to be over.

(no subject)

I AM UPSET. I did *not* need to see the video that I just watched. It was a anti-fur thing, against cruelty to animals.

I think it is upsetting and vulgar to make such a graphic video just to get a point across. I'm sure there's tons of better ways to get a point across than mentally violating someone's eyes (because I'm sure we've all seen one video, so we have half-assed expectations, this video was over the top x 10).

This is coming from the horror-queen. Who has a stomach of steel (for the most part). And I couldn't finish the bloody thing.

I won't imbed the video here, because I don't believe in needlessly upsetting people, however, if you, for some reason, feel the need to watch this video, you can watch it here, and don't say I didn't warn you, because I did. threefold.

UGH. (warning: girl issues discussed)

I am so frustrated and upset I could cry.

Because no doctor will listen to what I have to say, because they don't believe I know my body best, because they won't listen to reason, I feel like I'm being destroyed.

I've tried to tell them that I don't react well with hormones. That I've been on 3 different birth controls, and none of them have worked (the last one having higher hormone levels, for people where weaker ones don't work). I told them that I didn't get my period for 2 months after I stopped taking the last one, because it screwed with my body so bad.

I tell them I don't want birth control anymore, I want an alternative method (IUD).

Fucking bitch gynecologist doesn't listen to anything I have to say, and prescribes me yet another type of birth control. And now I'm waking up in the middle of the night, nearly puking each night, because my body can't handle the hormones.

How come nobody can believe that I know what's best for me? How come nobody believes that I'm in tune with my body, and know what's best?

......So, in a last ditch effort, I'm going to go to the walk-in clinic today, and see if I can get a doctor to finally listen to me.

......the newest part to my argument being (well, that I'm reacting badly to this pill), but that I had polyps removed, which are usually caused by elevated estrogen levels, and seriously, if I have elevated estrogen levels, is it really that great an idea to shove me full of synthetic hormones?!?!?!?

......not to mention the 9 day period I just had.

I kinda feel like I'm slowly being poisoned.

.............not to mention that I have this fucking cold that won't go away, that by now.....when I blow my nose, it looks like blood, every time (but I won't have a bloody nose)................

.............and with all of this going on, I have 2 exams to write today.


And I still feel like puking.


Sorry, but the being woken up every night to nausea, and everything. I needed to get it out.

I'm going back to bed for a few hours before I have to go exam up my day.

sorrow is.....

.....when you feel like exploding watching your music program NOT download the Greg Weeks you are desperately waiting to hear, and you will possibly die before tomorrow, when you can steal it from your friend.

.....Brendan, I sure hope you'll burn a cd tomorrow. Cuz if you don't.........I may just die.

O_o'

(I'm addicted to your style, baby, what can I say? gimmegimmegimme)